


Not You, Never Us

by hecacs



Category: NCT, NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Break Up, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, depends on you tho, dojae, nct - Freeform, side greek inspo, very mild angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29668230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hecacs/pseuds/hecacs
Summary: Maybe one day, you'll learn to love me in the same way I love you.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Not You, Never Us

There's this Greek myth that lovers were actually joined together as one and Zeus saw them to be too powerful so he separated them from each other, with the latter looking for their other half all their life. Some are lucky to find their special person early in life while some are miserable, never to find theirs. Tragic but in modern times like this, it seems so true. Unfortunately, we have all gotten tired of looking for that perfect person, focusing only on ambition and power which drives us to the core of our existence but we cannot deny that there is a part of every human, yearning to be touched and loved truly.

This is where you and I come in.

You see, I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you. You were soft-spoken with each word carefully picked from your mouth before they fall from your lips. I was outspoken with each word coming past my lips like bullets from a silencer. You were careful with each action you took and every step you took was quiet, as though one wrong move would awaken a beast. I took long strides with ease, barely noticing that stares that followed every time I strolled past and my actions were out of the box, surprising you each time. You were gentle, I was bold. You were hopeful, I was more on the realist side. You avoided casualties as much as possible, I reveled in them. We couldn't have been any more different, don't you agree?

But still, you chose me and I chose you and we ran the world like it was ours while chasing butterflies and walking through hell's fire. I think my vulnerability for you took your breath away. To see a person like me so headstrong and confident, lose it all at the sight of you which is why you were never afraid to turn your back on me. Though you were quiet, you would hurt me when you turned around with one step further away, I would reach for you to ask why. Every time you left, I chased. Every time you turned away, I begged. You knew my weaknesses and turned them all against me because you knew that after all those terrible actions, I would love you still. Behind that pretty face was a dark agenda I mistook for worry for my well-being. I chose you everyday back then in hopes that I would be able to take care of your heart as much as I though you took care of mine. But you left me with nothing but burning ashes of the letters and poems disregarded to the side of the bed where you laid. I loved you then, I love you still but if I kept on chasing you despite the lack of oxygen in the air, am I not killing myself to let you live?

So when it came to an end for us, I need to ask you.

_Doyoung, what was I to you?_

* * *

" _Jaehyun_."

I turn to look at you, your big doe eyes staring right into mine and I can see there's something there that you're dying to tell me. Swimming in the dark pools of onyx black is anxiousness for a confession that will either answer my questions or confuse me even more as the pieces try to align themselves in the mystery of you. I stay quiet, waiting for you to ask as the cold becomes a little bit unbearable and I tuck my hands in the comfort of my coat's pockets. Whatever you were about to say, I never got the chance to know because you hug me by surprise and it feels surreal for the way you hold to me, it was like you're afraid I'd slip away from your fingertips like how my touches would make you slither from here whenever I tried to make you stay. 

I pull my hands out from the comfort of my pockets and hold you, hugging you until you are no longer shaking; until I can feel you warm up to me and all is right in the world for a few fleeting moments. But it never lasts long as you pull yourself away from me, your touch choosing to remain against my arms. "I just wanted to hold you one last time. That's all." You say without further explanation, facing the view in front of us with a stoic face that is devoid of deep emotion.

Always the brave one, I can only muster a soft chuckle and face the view again. For the first time in the many occurrences we've looked at it, it looks immensely beautiful. I can remember now what we were staring at: the Church I promised to marry you in.

But I can't do that now. Not when we're letting each other go with the assurance that as soon as we take a step back, we'll go back to living our own lives without hoping for the other to return. Maybe one day, I'll get to know what you were supposed to say or what you were thinking of as you stared at me so dejectedly but until then, in your eyes, I know for sure that I saw love.

Maybe someday, Doie, we'll be able to fall in love with each other again and we'll finally be able to figure out what went wrong for us. Together, someday. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope i did it well! feel free to give me your insights and thoughts on my work, i am more than happy to receive feedback and become better because of it! <3


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